Things Change
It is hard to accept change.
It is harder to make the change.
These past months had been a rollercoaster ride where the rise and fall seemed endless and the fact is –the ride has only begun. I know I chose this path when I took my first step. I wanted to be a new me…someone that evolves every day and someone who is not afraid to scream and shout to the world saying, “This is me!” Little did I know of the thorns amongst the bush as I wished to smell the roses?
I hurt the most loving guy that I was blessed with in my life. Was it an act of selfishness? Arrogance? Whatever it was, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I still care for him deeply, that does not change. I wish for the best of his happiness and life; but I lost the rights to become his lover and his happiness. And so, I have to move on…a scorned path for hurting someone so beautiful inside and out. Maybe if Fate truly is by our side and that we are blessed by Him, we will meet each other again. If that ever happens, it will be under our eternal vows and nothing less.
Now, I gained the freedom I desired out of my despicable acts and yes; I’m still happy. I’m not one to let guilt ruin my happiness. Yes, I believe that everyone deserves their own bit of happiness and that they are blessed with it in their everyday lives…it’s just up to us to make the effort to stand up, step out and find it.
As the light after I plunged into the darkness, he appeared to return my laughter and smile. I neither know where he came from nor how can such a guy grants me happiness in such a short time…and for the first time, I did not chase him. Like a flicker of a candle, he slowly came into my life and soon, he became a flame that burns in my heart. He is different from me and yet, he is able to understand me as I do him. We are both broken due to past relationships and his is completely the opposite of mine and yet, we ended up coming together as one. At times I wonder…do I deserve him? And at other times I think…is this some sort of test for me?
To see whether I will be able to protect him…or will I hurt another person I come to love?
I feel that no matter what sin I commit, He is still blessing me with happiness…telling me that He is there for me; watching and testing me.
And for that, I move on. With my scars and my smile I continue to walk forward.
Assalamualaikum. Ciao~
|Anis Diana
It is harder to make the change.
These past months had been a rollercoaster ride where the rise and fall seemed endless and the fact is –the ride has only begun. I know I chose this path when I took my first step. I wanted to be a new me…someone that evolves every day and someone who is not afraid to scream and shout to the world saying, “This is me!” Little did I know of the thorns amongst the bush as I wished to smell the roses?
I hurt the most loving guy that I was blessed with in my life. Was it an act of selfishness? Arrogance? Whatever it was, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I still care for him deeply, that does not change. I wish for the best of his happiness and life; but I lost the rights to become his lover and his happiness. And so, I have to move on…a scorned path for hurting someone so beautiful inside and out. Maybe if Fate truly is by our side and that we are blessed by Him, we will meet each other again. If that ever happens, it will be under our eternal vows and nothing less.
Now, I gained the freedom I desired out of my despicable acts and yes; I’m still happy. I’m not one to let guilt ruin my happiness. Yes, I believe that everyone deserves their own bit of happiness and that they are blessed with it in their everyday lives…it’s just up to us to make the effort to stand up, step out and find it.
As the light after I plunged into the darkness, he appeared to return my laughter and smile. I neither know where he came from nor how can such a guy grants me happiness in such a short time…and for the first time, I did not chase him. Like a flicker of a candle, he slowly came into my life and soon, he became a flame that burns in my heart. He is different from me and yet, he is able to understand me as I do him. We are both broken due to past relationships and his is completely the opposite of mine and yet, we ended up coming together as one. At times I wonder…do I deserve him? And at other times I think…is this some sort of test for me?
To see whether I will be able to protect him…or will I hurt another person I come to love?
I feel that no matter what sin I commit, He is still blessing me with happiness…telling me that He is there for me; watching and testing me.
And for that, I move on. With my scars and my smile I continue to walk forward.
Assalamualaikum. Ciao~
|Anis Diana
