[DIARY] Current Experience in SPM

SPM, in my personal opinion, is a fairly good way to abuse students of Malaysia.

Back when I was at the age of 10 or 11, I still remembered confidently saying, "I want to be a geologist!" and when the teacher asked why, I would answer, "Because I like diamonds!". At that time...I truly believed in my words...

I am lucky to be blessed with a broad mindset thanks to my parents who are always open and welcoming my opinions and guiding me to be able to think about the near future. I still have an ambition and I know of my plans after SPM is over...but to maintain such thoughts are MINDBOGGLINGLY DIFFICULT. mindbogglingly...hehehe...

It is undeniable that I lost my ambition several times in the past 2 years while preparing for SPM. I questioned and doubted myself so much and I even loathed myself whenever I received bad grades. In turn, it became a very self-destructive period for me. However, with the help of several sources of inspiration and motivation, I was able to hold on.

But I know that there are others who have to deal with worse scenarios.

The news of the deaths of two SPM candidates left me speechless. Several other past stories of suicides due to stress and many other cases made me wonder....is SPM everything for us as Malaysians? Are we to be deemed as failures if we did not take it seriously?

In my personal opinion, education is vital for us not only for passing exams but as food for our minds. However, education is being taken merely as a medium to pass examinations such as SPM and that we are forced and pressured to be judged based on the results. I have come to a point where I somewhat loathe the education system here in Malaysia; especially in its way of delivery.

Whenever we are asked in a question based on 'our opinion' it is so unfair that our answers cannot be wider than what is stated in the marking schemes. They say those types of questions are to 'broaden our minds~~' but I think that is plain bullshit. To broad another person's minds, WE need to have a broader mind first! 

I will be sitting for my Sejarah papers tomorrow...to be honest I neither think I am ready nor will I be able to get an A...but I am tired of waking up every day simply for SPM. I'll be honest, I am not happy...but I will try my best anyway. After the exam is over, I'm forgetting everything! Differences between Kerajaan Agraria and Maritim? Tokoh ternama di Perak, Sarawak, Sabah..etc? I don't care! I have better things to do...

SPM, go and....feed yourself with some Secret Recipe's Indulgence cake or something...X'D I DON'T KNOW! Kay, off the bad jokes now.... Ciao~!