Tricks For SPM! - Self Emotional Control

I'm going to start making these little 'advice' or 'tips' posts specifically targeted for exam candidates and more specifically, for SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia, Malaysian Certificate of Education) candidates. I know that almost everyone will undergo the same pressures and tensions while preparing for such important exams and the stress that takes place in our lives are pretty much self-destructing if it is not tended to. I, myself, have been battling several conflicts whether it is at home or school and I know that I am not alone.

Therefore, I will begin my personal posts specified for all you troubled students to prepare yourselves for the big examinations...bear in mind that these tips are all based on my personal experiences and I am letting these posts be open for discussion. 

   One of the main factors that trigger one's tendency to begin stressing out especially during the pre-examination periods is emotional stress. Unfortunately, unless you are a super block of cement that could not be affected by any changes of emotions and feelings, you are very likely to be a victim of this problem.

Do you have conflicts with your friends at school?

Do you feel left out from your friends?

Do you feel trapped in your home, like a bird in a cage without freedom?

Do you have problems with any of your family members?

Or do you have any kind of problem that triggers a painful ache in the chest and causes your mind to be stuffed with unwanted and negative thoughts?

It may not be specific, but if you are feeling burdened to study because your heart is heavy, then you are definitely not in control of your emotions.

   My first advice would be...relax. Take a deep breather and just sit down somewhere quiet for a few minutes until you feel less burdened. It is not your fault. You are trying to study for such important examinations and yet, so many problems are jammed into your head that you feel sick just looking at the books...let alone think about the actual exams. But all you need to know is that you must RELAX. Every time you start feeling suffocated and emotionally unstable, that is when you must put away the books for a little moment and just let yourself be surrounded by silence, even for only a while. 

   Now, slowly think of the most painful things that are bothering you and let it enter your mind...if it starts feeling so heavy and so frustrating or painful, it is fine. Do not fight the emotions...the more you fight it, the lesser control you have on your state of emotion. If you feel like crying then please...cry. Let out all the emotions! Do not trap the emotions inside of you. Your mind can never contain such heavy things for a long time. I personally feel so sick when the problems just keep piling up. And so, I will cry alone and let out all the frustrations through my tears and sobs. I used to think of crying as a weakness but oh, how incorrect was that theory...haha~  Crying is strength. To become your most vulnerable state, that is when you are strongest. Trust me, once your tears and sobs stop, you will feel a lot lighter...

     If you still feel a little down, try letting out the emotions through actions... I personally did not like telling my problems to other people as I think of that as burdening them with my own difficulties. However, it is a fact that talking to close people such as your family members or good friends will help you lift the burden up from your shoulders and let yourself know that you have someone to depend on. If you still feel insecure about sharing your problems, write it down~! I have so many diaries and I usually rant and curse and basically write crap in those pages whenever I feel frustrated or sad about anything. Now that I think of it, my diaries are sooooo filled with my past negative thoughts that I actually laugh about them...

   You see, all that negativity is based on your perception. Sure, your friends seemed as if they are abandoning you...but have you ever thought that they may have troubles themselves? Maybe they want to hide it from you or simply not give you any difficulties. Your parents yelling at you 24/7 and maybe even exerting violent acts without reason? Maybe they are super stressed out too...they may not know where and how to release their frustrations and act negatively simply because they are at a loss... Unless you have COMPLETELY done a thoroughly background check on every single detail about the people who are causing you to feel stressed out, then you have no rights to judge them. 

STAY POSITIVE!!!!

    I'm not saying that you should BAM! turn into a complete optimist against your will. Your life and emotions are truly in your control and it is up to you whether you wish to accept the problems and solve them. If you want to continue suffering and hoping for sympathy from others, be my guest...but at the end of the day, you will simply continue to feel pressured and negative and all these things are really self-destructive especially when you are preparing for examinations.

    Try motivating yourself and making yourself smile every day~ Find bloggers that have motivating posts and relates to your own problems. Go through sites such as Tumblr where you can find pictures, quotes, posts and many other types of things that can make you smile or feel a lot better instead of being cooped up and feel bad for yourself... I personally have a few sources from YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr and even here in Blogger where I am able to get my daily motivations and inspirations. It may seem like a small thing, but gradually these things became a staple in my every day life and I MUST, I repeat, MUST go through these sites to just let myself stay positive and trust me...it made such a great difference to my life now. Just don't be addicted to these sites~

    Meeting the right people is also important and this may not be effective when you are busy studying for examinations but having a good group of people around you will make you feel a lot better. You can actually CREATE this group of people by influencing your peers... I have my few friends who become my study partners, my hangout peers and also my motivational sources. They will always make me feel "Gosh, I MUST study hard~!" and at the same time, they will still provide me with the normal teenage fun that we all need in our daily lives. It keeps me concentrated on studying and averts me away from other frustrating problems. Sometimes one of my friends may start feeling lazy or troubled but we continue to influence each other and help one another through the problems and at the end of the day, we will continue to study well because the source of motivation is truly great with the help of  friends. As of today, I am super grateful to be awarded with such friends and also, my boyfriend who is a true pillar of support for me in my personal life as well as my studies... <3

     My last advice would be a little sensitive but it made such a big impact on my life and that is.....have faith in God. I am a Muslim myself and I strictly believe that everything that occurs, whether it may be bad or good is all up in Allah's hands... Every time I encounter a problem, I just think of it as a test of perseverance and patience from Allah. Every time I go down in a sujud during my prayers, I feel a little lighter when I get back up. Every time I place my hands together to pray, I will feel a beam of hope that every thing will be okay if I just stay strong and continue to work hard for my goals. To all Muslim candidates, I truly wish that you shall stay true to your solat, and keep working hard! Allah is always watching over you... =D

Some of these advice may not work for you and you may be going through problems that are far too great or complicated for these advice to work. Therefore, I urge you to comment down below and tell me about your difficulties. You may remain as anonymous but I would truly love to help you...especially if you are an SPM candidate such as myself. Every day is a roller coaster but I know that if I keep working hard, I can achieve anything with the help of Allah...and that goes the same for every one.

Exams are coming real soon and studying is a must! But helping others is a choice I made to give my best efforts in doing so. Therefore, I will try my best to create more tips that will help both others and I soon~

Ciao~ study hard people! ;3